Your kids should not be the most important in the family.

By John Rosemond 1/1/17 –  Naples Daily News

Coach Brian Keith Shrewsbury

A friend of mine posted an article written by a psychologist from Naples, Florida, on kids and their place within our culture.  I extracted some of the articles parts as I thought they were spot on.  Some of it was a bit rambling, but the premise was good.

Article: Psychologist:

I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teen, “Who are the most important people in your family?”  Like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they answered, “Our Kids?”  “Why?” I then asked. “What is it about your kids that gives them that status?”  And like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they couldn’t answer the question other than to fumble with appeals to emotion.”

      “So, I answered the question for them: “ There is no reasonable thing that gives your children that status,”

Coach Brian Keith Shrewsbury

I totally agree with this part of the article.  There is no reason to believe children, with no education, experience or understanding of the world around them should be elevated to a status of greater importance than parents or other adults within our family structure.  Children should be taught to be humble, learn their place within society, and understand that they must earn their place; they are entitled to nothing.

Article: Psychologist:

….. “many if not most of the problems they’re having with their kids – typical stuff, these days – are the result of treating their children as if they, their marriage, and their family exist because of the kids, when in fact, its the other way around.  Their kids exist because of them and their marriage and thrive because they have created a stable family for them.”  

 Coach Brian Keith Shrewsbury

This assertion that parents are important because they have earned their place within the community and have established a marriage, a home and a safe nest for their children.  The fact that parents have accomplished these things for each other as well as the family should be seen as an important accomplishment and taught to the children as such.

Article: Psychologist:

     Furthermore, without them, their kids wouldn’t eat well, have the nice clothing they wear, live in the nice home in which they live, enjoy the great vacations they go on, and so on.  Instead of lives that are relatively carefree (despite the drama to the contrary that they occasionally manufacture), their children would be living lives full of worry and want. 

Coach Brian Keith Shrewsbury

      If the parents’ accomplishments are not taught to their children and elevated in importance in their minds as something to be humbled by, how would children ever understand the importance of these accomplishment and why they too need to emulate them?

Article: Psychologist:

…..when we were kids it was clear to us that our parents were the most important people in our families. And that, right there, is why we respected our parents and that, right there, is why we looked up to adults in general.  Yes, once upon a time in the United States of America, children were second class citizens, to their advantage.”

“….our parents marriages were more important to them than their relationships with their kids.  ……we did not sleep in their beds or interrupt their conversations.  …..Mom and Dad talked more – a lot more – with one another than they talked with their kids.   For lack of pedestals, we emancipated earlier and much more successfully than have children since.”

Coach Brian Keith Shrewsbury

      Today I often see children talk disrespectfully to their parents.  Children dismiss their parents efforts to bring them to their sporting events, thank them for encouraging them and giving them the opportunity for sports.  Children believe they are doing their parents a favor by attending their sport and they are tolerating their parents very existence.  It is my opinion that it is both the parents and the adults within the community to teach children to respect adults and the sacrifices they make for them.

Article: Psychologist:

      The most important person in an army is the general.  The most important person in a corporation is the CEO.  The most important person in a classroom is the teacher.  And the most important person in a family are the parents.

“The most important thing about children is the need to prepare them properly for responsible citizenship.  The primary objective should not be raising a straight – A student who excels at three sports, earns a spot on the Olympic swim team, goes to an A list university and becomes a prominent brain surgeon.  The primary objective to raising a child such that community and culture are strengthened.”

Coach Brian Keith Shrewsbury

Before success has to be learning how others became successful.  Children need to learn what others did to give them them the life they have.  Children need to learn to be thankful, humble and respectful of their parents, teaches and adults in general.  Too often I see children that seem to be tortured by their parents incessant need to give them opportunities.  Really?  The opportunities American children are given far exceed those of other kids around the world.  Our kids are less achieving and less happy in general.  Often they seem to be doing us a favor by doing sports or getting an education.

Article: Psychologist:

       “Our child is the most important person in our family” is the first step towards reading a child who feels entitled.  You don’t want that. Unbeknownst to your child he doesn’t need that and neither does America.”

Posted in: Article, Uncategorized

Comments

Be the first to comment.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: